Doll rebirth

My grandparents would often tell me when you get old, you start to count the days instead of the years.  Being closer to death really changes your perception of time.  I never imagined I'd experience that when I'm not even 20 yet, but ever since my diagnosis, that's been my entire life...

"Morning Yuka, did you sleep okay?" the nurse said as she brought my breakfast and checked up on my vitals.  I only nodded weakly.  Talking had gotten straining and I didn't feel like chatting anyway.  I could glimpse her face looking sad at seeing me this way.

"Hey," she said putting a hand to my shoulder, "I know this isn't easy to deal with but we will do everything we can to make life comfortable for you.  You only have to ask."

I didn't have anything to say.  I was dying and she couldn't help that, nobody could.

"Oh yes, you have a visitor scheduled today," she said obviously to try and change the subject.

This got my attention as I turned back around.  My family?  They hadn't come in a while now.  They couldn't bear seeing me like this anymore.

"Older gentleman, he said he was a friend but not much else.  Do you want to see him?" the nurse asked.

I was about to say no.  It sounded like just some heartless schemer out to take advantage of my situation somehow...but for some reason, I felt a little voice telling me to let him come.  I couldn't explain why.

"It's okay...I'll see him," I answered before taking a gasp of air as that alone was difficult for me at this point.

He entered a few minutes later.  He was small built, aging man who did have a kind expression to him.

"Who are you?" I muttered, "What do you want?"

"You can just call me Mr Shoji.  I have a proposition for you," he explained.

"For me?  What is it?" I asked now curious.  What could a dying girl have that he'd be interested in?

"I'm in the business of, what you'd call...second chances," he says as though a tad unsure of how to explain it.

"Second chances?  You know a cure?" I asked.  It was too much to possibly hope for but it was all I had.

"Not exactly, but it is a chance to live on without your condition.  I can't fully explain it and you probably wouldn't believe me even if I did but tell me, what would you give to have a new life to live and not have to die here in this bed?"

It may have been folly to answer but at that point, I didn't care.

"Anything," I said, "Please!  I don't want to die!"

"All right," he says stepping over to my bed, "Just try to relax and when you wake up, everything will be better."

I started to feel drowsy as he began to speak some strange words.  I didn't know what he was doing but I felt strangely at peace.  The pain even began to feel like it was dying down.  I didn't know what was happening as I started to feel like I was being pulled away...was I dying?  Yet I didn't feel concerned by it.


...................


Consciousness began to return to me as I struggled to regain my focus.  Did I fall asleep?  Was Mr Shoji just a dream?  I attempted to rub my eyes but there was a curious heaviness to my arms, yet at the same time, it wasn't the usual pain from my illness.  It felt like they were made of stone or something.  When I brought them to my face, a decidedly not flesh sounding tapping sound caused my eyes to bolt awake.  I saw them, they not only looked small and stubby compared to the hands I was accustomed to, they looked shiny as though they had been laquered.

"My...my hands...what happened?" I said in a voice that sounded higher and softer than the one I'd known all my life.

"Ah, you're awake, forgive me for not being here," I heard Mr Shoji's voice say as he came into the room.  Sure enough, as he approached, he towered over me as I saw how small I really was.

"What did you do?  Why am I so small like this?!" I said upset.

I sat up and looked myself over.  I was wearing an elaborately stitched red dress along with white stockings and shiny black shoes on my small, dainty feet.  Reaching to my hair, it was long and silky, red instead of my previous black hair, trailing all the way to my back and topped with a silky ribbon.  Then I looked around at my surroundings.  It looked like some kind of old fashioned toy workshop.  I could see various tools and parts one would use to make dolls...

"Wait...am I..." I said as I struggled to my feet, trying to get used to this strange body.  I was standing on a work table!  I must have only been not even a foot tall now.

"What?!  I'm a doll?!  What happened?  How did I get here?" I said panicking.

"It's all right, you're safe here and you're not going to die anymore," he said as he pulled up his chair to sit at the work table, "I couldn't tell you in the hospital, there was no telling who might have been listening.  Your spirit has been transfered to this doll body.  This was supposed to save my own daughter when she was ill...but unfortunately I wasn't able to perfect the spell in time to save her.  Instead, I've used it to save others I've found who wanted another chance at life, others like yourself."

"Wait, there's more like me?" I asked.

"Indeed," he said holding his hands out to pick me up, "Come, they're excited to meet you."

He gently held me sitting on his arm as he brought me out to the toy store and to my amazement, dozens of little doll heads peered out from the cute little houses and sets that had been placed for them.

"Oh wow, is that her?" one said.

"Yay, I'm so happy for you!"

"She's adorable!"

He put me down as the other dolls all gathered around to see me.  I had to admit, it did ease my situation to see I was far from alone.

"Tess, you have room in your house," Mr Shoji said, "Can she stay with you?"

"Of course," came a voice as a blonde haired doll stepped out from the group and took my hand.

She eagerly tugged on me to her own doll house in one corner of the shop.

"So how do you like being a doll now?" she asked me with a bright smile.

"I... I'm still kinda shocked about it..." was all I could say.

"Don't worry, you'll never know sadness again like this.  So your name is Yuka?  You wanna be friends?"

Friends?  I'd almost forgotten what that was like.  All my friends drifted away from me when I grew too sick to play with them.  I didn't even realize how much I missed them until she said those words.  I just lost it and hugged her tightly.  That was the moment I knew I was home!

Life in the toy shop couldn't be better.  We played with each other all day without a care in the world.  People would stop by and light up when they saw us move around.  Some took dolls home as playmates for their children, some for a while, some for longer but new ones would always come too.  Then one day, I saw two familiar faces come in.

"Come on dear," said the man I knew as my father in my old life to my mother, "You always wanted to come here.  Look them all."

The dolls all looked up at them and bowed politely as they always did.  I meanwhile stood in a corner out of sight.  I wasn't ready to see them like this.

"Can I help you folks?" Mr Shoji asked them.

"Yes...you see," my father began as though trying to find the words, "We lost a daughter some time ago and well..."

"Ah, you want a doll to remember her by?" he asked, seeing him struggle to say it, to which they simply nodded.

"Pardon me one moment if you please," he said as he walked over to the back, discreetly picking me up as he went.

Once in the back, he put me down on the table, checking behind to make sure he wasn't heard and spoke softly to me.

"Those are your parents aren't they?" he asked me.

"Yes...they are," I replied.

"If you want to go with them, I won't stop you.  I can even redo your hair and eyes so you look more like your old self if you like," he offered and simply waited for my answer.

I had to decide.  Even though they were my parents, I did truly love it here.  Where would I be with them?  They'd keep me locked up now that I was their little daughter forever...furthermore...they came here to replace me?  That hurt even more than when their visits grew more sparse.

"Maybe someday I'll tell them," I replied, "But I'm not ready now."

Mr Shoji simply nodded as he brought me back out front.

"How do you make these dolls move anyway?" my mom asked as I caught her eye.

"It's a trade secret of mine unfortunately," Mr Shoji simply answered as my mom looked at me.

"You look so beautiful.  My daughter would have loved to own a doll like you," she said to me.

"I'm sorry to hear about what happened to her.  But I'm sure she wouldn't want you to be sad all the time," I said, hoping it would help.  My mom did seem to smile weakly from it.

"Thank you," she said as my dad began discussing their purchase with Mr Shoji.

That was the last time I saw them for some time.  I don't know when I'll tell them the truth but I will when I feel the time is right.  This was the first time I ever felt free and I couldn't simply give it up so soon.  But that is how I came to be a living doll in Mr Shoji's store.  Please come by some time and visit.  We always love seeing new people.